No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize