she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
