Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
