dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize