just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
