party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
