ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Boobs speak an international language.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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