just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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