just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
