I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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