Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
