People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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