before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
