Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
