Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
