ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
