found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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