FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
