Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
