Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
