non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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