we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
