is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
