quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this just has baby written all over it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
