I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize