At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize