If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
