I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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