Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
