Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
God, I missed his penis.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I'm really busy with my period
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