@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
