kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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