im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
