i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
