Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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