Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
