just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
