Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
