feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
