Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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