yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
