Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
