I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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