Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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