I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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