WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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