OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
