And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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