I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
