there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
