I wish I only lived at night.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
