i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize