Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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