How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
