You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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