i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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