Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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