I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am available for nakedness
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
