i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
