last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
