My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
