I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sponge bath it is.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
