i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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