We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
