are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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