I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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