I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
