You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
