I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it hurts more in the daytime
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
A+ Viking dick
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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