party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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