Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
