my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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