I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
